Of all the changes I thought to make...

I have often dreamed of changes I would make to my life.  Healthier eating, walking and playing more.  Travelling the world.  I have even dreamed of owning my own business and owning my own home with a small "hobby" farm.

Never have I imagined, or dreamed, or thought of becoming a Runner.  That was always out of reach for me.  I'm too plain, too wide, too short, too homey, too slow, too old, too geeky, too nerdy....I am not a runner and never will be.  Vetoed that thought even as it crossed my mind watching others.  Wish I could be, but my body is just not built for running.  And that's that.

Have you ever heard of "fake it 'til ya make it"? or how we build walls to protect ourselves only to find we've limited our ability to grow and flourish?  Have you ever heard of the "Red Ball/Green Ball" strategy of dealing with negative self talk?

Here's the thing.  There are many things I have dreamed of doing, but I had these walls limiting me.  These brick walls are tough and tall and block out a lot of good stuff.  I've known for some time there was better on the other side, but I didn't know how to break down the walls.  So I "faked it".  I pretended to live life as if I was getting out of these walls.  When I started to slip back into my old habits, I would "Green Ball" it and override the habit with the actions I wanted to be true. 

Green Ball?  When you do or say something negative and destructive, that is called a "Red Ball".  You can do nothing with the Red Ball or you can hold on to it.  You can toss it away or you can choose not to catch it in the first place.  But whatever you do with it, you then override it with a "Green Ball".  You do or say something about the situation that is positive and constructive.  So everytime I slipped up or ran up against my walls, I tried to remember to throw a "Green Ball" at it.

The last couple of years have been tough for me.  New learning, new ways of doing things, I have a new baby!  I've had to make some new changes to make things succeed.  As much as I had to make changes, I kept running up against negative, destructive actions and talk...and not all of it was my own!  For every "Red Ball" I was presented with, I struggled to fire a "Green Ball" against my walls.  Imagine, if you will, bouncy balls...lots of them...bouncing around in a small round room at high velocity.  Standing in the middle of that been my life for the last while.

Today, I realized..I am a Runner.  Today, I jogged for half of my 30 minute "walk" in 5 minute stints.  I felt great!  I felt powerful.  I felt the surge of adrenaline and endorphins hit in the last jog as I rounded the corner to see my home just that little distance away!  I felt like I was crashing through a finish line in a marathon!  All this time, all those bouncing balls were weakening my walls.  A whole wall of my existance has crashed down around me in rubble and dust and all those balls escaped.  As the dust clears, I look out to see a new horizon.  For now, there are no "Red Balls".  For now, I don't have to fire back anything.  I stand in awe of the magnitude of this change.

It's amazing!

Can you handle the truth?

Recently, I've been introduced to C25K. What is C25K? It's one of those phone applications and it's short for "Couch to 5km". It's intention is to slowly ramp you up in activity until you eventually run 5km. This seems almost impossible to anyone who thinks they can't run or just can't....

I was one of these people. For decades I have stated in no uncertain terms that I am not a runner. Running hurts me too much to even think about it. Only those with light bodies can run because shin splints are painful!! I lied to myself.

I didn't realize I was lying to myself. I thought it was the absolute truth! What I discovered recently was that it is very likely that we are all lying to ourselves. A friend of mine who admits herself that she was very much a voluptuous shape (to be gentle) discovered this application and started following it. Her results have forced me to reconsider my "truths".

Now, I'm not saying it's easy. Some people have injuries they may never recover fully from. There could be health concerns like my dad. He had his heart and kidneys replaced 20 years ago. I sincerely doubt he's going to be running 5km any time in this life time.

Consider then, two facts:

1) The Paralympic Games that run with the Olympics was designed for people with disabilities that prevent them from competing in regular sports. These people could have given up when they lost their legs or arms (or never had them to begin with). They could have said, "I can't" and they would have had a million people agree with them. Are those million people telling the truth?

2) Any movement, any progress is good. Anything is better than nothing. How slow the start is or how short is of no consideration. Progress is the only success to be measured. The Paralympics were founded as a therapy to give those with physical challenges a goal to work towards. As we all hear from all Olympians, their biggest and hardest competitor is themselves.

Look at those parathletes now? Is "I can't" really truthful? Since they obviously can and can do it better than I can with all my working limbs, I'd have to concede that, "I can't" is a lie.

I take the bus and walk most places already, so the early stages of C25K aren't really workable for me. It literally starts you out with doing 5-10 minutes of activity. So if you really not ready to do more than a little at a time, you can do this.

What was that? you don't have a phone so you can't have the app? That's ok. There are online versions of this all over the place and you can cut and paste it into a Word document to follow it. All the phone app does is make it more fun by adding music and alerts to when to walk and when to jog...it takes the thinking out of it for you.

Oh, you don't have a watch to time yourself? Dollar Store. They have a ton of cute bands and pins. In this activity, the most expensive expenditure is going to be a good pair of walking shoes and a watch..and the watch is only gonna cost a buck...maybe two.

So, I finally kicked myself out of the house for a solid walk. Not carrying bags to go to the store. Not pulling my rolling briefcase. Not pushing the baby buggy. This is MY time. Fifteen minutes out and fifteen minutes back. That's all! How far I got isn't what mattered. The fact that I got out at all was what was important. I didn't even try speed walking. It was just a walk. When I got home, I posted on my FB my "success" and got a huge response from my friends. I even got a little giddy from the praise.

Next day, I did it again with the same results. I felt pretty good. I kept doing it every day and getting praise and getting a little faster in my walk so getting a little further and getting more praise. You can see the cycle. Then a rainy day hit. It was cold, it was wet, it was absolutely horrible. That was when I was introduced to the "Donwannas". You've heard of them I bet!

All I could hear in my head was "I donwanna go out in the cold and wet...ick!". Then I heard my dtr whining that she didn't wanna go to school. I despise whining. I turned to tell her that she's not made of sugar and won't melt. I heard in my head, "and neither are you." Oops...truth time. I've always prided myself on being a good example to my kids. If I use that statement to my kids, then I have to apply it to myself. Once they were out the door, I put my shoes and jacket on and out I went. I warmed up real quick and then it wasn't so bad. Got home, had a cup of hot lemon and ginger tea, curled up with a book. Felt really proud of myself and I felt I earned that little bit of quiet time.

After a couple of weeks of walking, I was feeling good and while on a walk I was re-evaluating my "truths". I had already proven that I could stick to a regular activity. I wondered. Could I? Was I being truthful about not being able to run? My friend was up to jogging 5km and more already! If she could do it, could I? hrm...so I upped the pace to a slow jog and did that for a minute, then pushed a little more for an extra half. I got back to walking and realized that wasn't so bad. A few minutes later, I tried again. Again, not so bad. Then I realized, what I do in one direction, I had to do in the other because if I didn't, I wouldn't be back on time and I had things to do! So, on the way back, I jogged a couple of times, walking between them. When I posted, my friends got really excited for me. I got all giddy again.

A few days later, I got smacked up side the head by the donwannas again. This time they brought ammo. I had a ton of things to do, the baby was up early and I was going to be walking a lot already (in between busses). The donwannas won...two days in a row! I justified myself saying that I was doing a lot of walking with all I was doing already! But the truth just kept poking it's head out from around the wool. Truth was, I was letting the donwannas win.

I talked to my friend and she's heard of the donwannas, too. Her understanding seemed to give me the strength to beat them and out I went the next day with the donwannas chanting at me for 2 whole minutes! It was like a child stomping to their room. They went silent as I heard the truth chanting back, "I can I can I can". Ten minutes into the walk, I moved up to a jog. By the time I got home, I was high as a kite on the adrenaline! Didn't need coffee that morning!

This morning, the donwannas were back. But I have ammunition, too. They were strong, but I'm stronger because I know the truth. Truth is we can convince ourselves of anything, that includes "I can't". What is the truth? Are you ready for it? Do you want the truth? I do.

What Guides taught me - a song

The following song was sung at campfires when I was only 12 years old. I learned then what it meant to be a warrior of life. This is the song that plays in my heart every day. When I made that promise as a Guide to follow the Guide Law, I really made it. I didn't say just to become a Guide. I made that promise to myself, to my family and to my community. Little did I know where it would take me...

On My Honour - author unknown

On my honour, I will try
There's a duty to be done and I say, "Aye!"
There's a reason here for a reason above.
My honour is to try and my duty is to Love.

No one needs to know my name.
If I've hurt someone then I'm to blame.
If I've helped someone then I've helped me
And that's the way that it should be.

I've tucked away a song or two.
If you're feeling low, there's one for you.
If you need a friend then I will come.
There's plenty more where I come from.

Come with me where the fire burns bright.
We can see much better by it's own light.
We can find more meaning in a campfire glow.
Than we've ever found in a year or so.

We've a promise to always keep
And sing "Day is Done" before we sleep.
We are Girl Guides together and when we're gone,
We'll still be a-tryin' and a-singin' this song.

On my honour I will try.
There's a duty to be done and I say, "Aye!"
There's a reason here for a reason above.
My honour is to try and my duty is to Love.

Law of Attraction and Passion

Another observation I have made about The Law of Attraction is of confusion on what is meant when we say to apply our thoughts with passion. What do we mean by passion? A man hollering at the top of his lungs, his face turning purple, is using passion to apply his thoughts. Is this the sort of passion we are talking about? A woman weeping bitterly, begging for the electrical company to give her another week to pay the bill is using passion. Is this the sort of passion we mean?

I would like to turn thought to a time when we were in love. Remembering that time; the happiness, the beating of the heart, the glee that filled the day? Remember when in those first few days, how excitement filled us as the time of the next date approached? The thrill we felt, the all consuming passion we lived life with? The senses were alive, awake; all of life seemed to sparkle. There was an awareness of what was said, the tone used, the way we dressed and the way everything seemed to take on a life of its own. The body seemed to just vibrate with intensity; indeed, literally shivering with sensuality and anticipation. When with the object of love, the feeling of connection enhanced; they understood like no one has before, so completely. It was like they heard on all levels, the vibrations reaching to the core on all frequencies.

In communication classes, we are taught how humans communicate on more than one level. They use several frequencies to put across their meaning. When relationships break down, often counselors are sought to help reconnect the communication. Couples are often instructed on the use of different frequencies to communicate and suddenly find themselves experiencing the throes of passion, they are again in love.

In those first few days of a budding romance, we are receiving and sending our communications on all levels. Thus we catch every nuance of every communication. This creates an attraction with the object of our passion and this draws our Desire to us. We are literally vibrating as one, attracting each to the other in harmony with our desires. We are happy, we are fulfilled, and we are at one with all things at this moment. Being in love, is the perfect passion; positive, creative, communicative and blessed.

Remember again that moment of being in love. Fix that feeling, that exhilaration into the heart, mind and soul. When the feeling of being in love fills the senses, think then of the desire, the wish to be attained. The Universe can not help but bring us together with our desire. At this moment, we are communicating fully and completely with our desire and are expressing our full passion and Will to the Universe to attain it. It can not be refused. This is the Law of Attraction.

Law of Attraction and Cynics

One observation I made about the Law of Attraction was when I met up with skeptics and cynics. These are people who have focused so much on the negative view that they immediately latched on to the negative aspects of this principle and have convinced themselves that the Law of Attraction is bunk and useless. The example they often use to illustrate their conviction seems almost classic in that it is identical from cynic to cynic. They describe a scenario of a young child, abused and neglected on the streets, and ask how she might have attracted such misery. She is too young to have any thought of positive or negative, her mind in much the state of neutrality. How then can we believe in the Law of Attraction if a child is taken from their beds, abused and murdered? How can we believe innocence has attracted such horrors?

I think of a time when people have attended a spiritual gathering, be it a church, a temple or a synagogue. Perhaps while there, it is announced that a congregant is ill, perhaps with a stroke, or heart attack, pneumonia. What happens? The congregation prays or gathers energy to send...they pray for health, for healing, for blessings upon the afflicted person, and indeed that person is usually returned to health in very short order.

So what happened? Each and every member of the congregation set into motion their own personal Law of Attraction in congruency with others. This created a large magnet of Attraction for the healing of the ill person. Thus we learn of the power of the Law of Attraction when applied by a group of people. We all do it. When we gather and talk of our successes and cheer each other on, we are applying this principle of a group Attraction. When we need some extra energy to get through a tough spot and we ask our friends and loved ones to wish us well, we are enacting the power of a group Attraction which we know as the strength to exponentially attract what we desire.

This is why we must be careful of the affiliations we make. No matter how positive we might be. No matter what we work to attract in our lives. If we continually affiliate ourselves with people whose attraction is at crosspurposes to our own, we will fail. This is because the power of the many overpowers the strength of the few. We all affect others with our Attraction. It is part of the ripple effect of action. What a group of people attract can affect what we individually work to attract. If we align ourselves with people of like purposes, we create a larger magnet to attract our desires and ambitions.

What of the child on the street? Of course they did not attract such misery. The people around them did. Society has attracted it. Each group of people consistently living together creates an Attraction that is the sum of the positive and negative energies they create. A community can have an Attraction. A State or Province can have an Attraction. A Society can have an Attraction. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because the people around them have attracted it to themselves and innocent people get caught in the crossfire.

This is why we who know about the Law of Attraction have a responsibility in its use and teaching. For every privilege, there is an equal responsibility. We can see the outcome of the Law of Attraction applied negatively. We know what is causing it. We know that action is contagious, whether positive or negative. As such, we have a duty to make a change, however small, to help turn the tide so that terrible things do not happen to the innocents...the children.

Does the Law of Attraction really work? Look beyond ourselves. Negative and positive in application create war and beauty everywhere we go. The Law of Attraction is not just for our individual pleasure. It is for the guidance and benefit of our world.